#8 "Pride is Burdensome"

We can see the universal sin, pride, in marriages today. The ideals of the world are to turn inwardly and only care about your own needs and desires. The title of my blog post this week comes from Dr. Goddard in his book entitled, Drawing Heaven in Your Marriage, which states, "Pride is burdensome."

Dr. Goddard also stated, "Today's culture teaches a very different lesson from traditional wisdom: We now hear that it is noble and worthy to focus on our own needs. It is our first obligation" (Goddard, 2009, p. 70).

No wonder marriages are suffering. We are busy focusing on ourselves and letting our pride destroy our relationships with our spouses. Unfortunately, it happens in the best of marriages. What can be done about it? 

Dr. Goddard offers this advice in "Curing Pride." He quotes President Ezra Taft Benson's great sermon on pride and suggests it "has the keys to our repentance." 

"Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves...Selfishness is one of the more common faces of pride. "How everything affects me" is the center of all that matters-self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking."

"The antidote for pride is humility-meekness, submissiveness (see Alma 7:23). It is the broken heart and contrite spirit. God will have a humble people. Either we can choose to be humble or we can be compelled to be humble...let us choose to be humble."

"We can choose to humble ourselves by conquering enmity toward our brothers and sisters, esteeming them as ourselves, and lifting them as high or higher than we are" (Benson, 1989). 

Dr. Goddard goes on to state, "The irony of pride is that those who are most talented are those who are most vulnerable to this leprosy of the soul. The world may esteem great talent as a blessing, but it is nothing to God in the absence of humility (Goddard, 2009, pp. 75-76).

As couples turn away from pride and choose humility, they can overcome the devastation that can threaten their marriage. It is not easy, but it is worth it.

I have been married for nearly 27 years and our worst fights have occurred because one or both of us were too prideful in our approach with one another. We used the word "I" in those fights over and over and the arguments escalated as we refused to back down. We were consumed with ourselves and our selfishness to think of how to move forward together. I remember one argument in particular where I was so angry and felt justified in my thoughts that I left. I drove to the beach and did not come home until it was dark. I was miserable the whole time! It was not until I decided to turn to Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for my heart to be softened that I calmed down. At that moment, I started seeing clearly my faults in the argument and recognizing how I could try to help things go right again. I got in the car and drove home. Luckily, my husband had the same Epiphone. He also prayed for help to soften his heart. In turning to God enabled us to turn back towards each other. 

Dr. Goddard states, "When we humble turn our minds, our lives, and our purposes over to God, He will refine us. We begin to see with new eyes. We feel with new warmth and goodness. We gladly give our time and energy to bless those around us-especially those with whom we have made covenants" (Goddard, 2009, p. 79).

We can decide to overcome pride, especially as we let God help us. We can turn away from the worldly views of selfishness and start turning towards our spouse with humility, love, and respect.