So many people threaten divorce when things in a marriage get rough. If things go unresolved, almost half of all Americans do get a divorce. What can be done to stop it?
Dallin H. Oaks from the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles gives this advice:
"I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache" (2007).
We are a society where we are focused on quick solutions and a divorce is a quick solution, but at what cost? Could there be hope for people thinking about getting a divorce? What if they followed the council given by Elder Dallin H. Oaks? Could things be reversed if people started looking outwardly at their spouse instead of inwardly? One time my husband and I were fighting over some things and we were so angry with each other. Both of us were ready to walk out on each other. It was horrible. As I was fuming in my anger, something told me to write the things down I liked about my husband. I sat for a few more minutes debating with myself why I should do such a thing, but then I started making a list. From the first line item, I started feeling a little better, as I got to five things, my heart started softening and I started feeling better. By the time I listed twenty things, I was calm and ready to talk to my husband. When I went in to talk to him, I handed my list to him and as he was reading it his heart was immediately softened and we were able to work things out.
I know that there are some circumstances in life where divorce is inevitable, where there have been serious abuses and pain so severe you cannot recover, but under circumstances where you think things can get better, try reaching out unselfishly and looking at how you are adding to the problems and start thinking of ways to do better.
The best advice is doing things together. Help each other heal and forgive one another. Pray together. Praying together will bring you closer to God and each other. Things can get better as you take divorce off the table if you are willing to work with each other.
No comments:
Post a Comment