Elder Bruce C. Hafen in his talk, "Covenant Marriage," from the November 1996 Ensign, compares a covenant marriage to a contractual marriage by suggesting that a contractual marriage is like a hireling hired to watch over the sheep and only cares for the sheep because he's paid to. Where as a covenant marriage is like a Shepard, who loves his sheep and would lay down his life for them.
Elder Hafen (1996) explains it in this manner, "Marriage is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will. Jesus taught about contractual attitudes when he described the "hireling," who performs his conditional promise of care only when he receives something in return. When the hireling "seeth the wolf coming," he "leaveth the sheep, and fleeth...because he...careth not for the sheep." Many people today marry as hirelings. And when the wolf comes, they flee. This idea is wrong. it curses the earth, turning parents' hearts away from their children and from each other" (para. 3).
When people get married they seem to think their life will be nothing but happiness and bliss, however, in reality marriage takes work. In a marriage, both partners must put in the effort to help cultivate and create happiness. It does not just come. I have learned that a marriage takes a lot of love, patience, charity, and effort, especially when life's challenges come knocking at the door.
My husband and I have been through a lot of pain, hardship, struggles, and sometimes we did not even like each other. It takes looking at things from an eternal perspective to help get back on track. When we have remembered our temple covenants and helped and believed in one another, that is when things started going right again. That is when our marriage feels like it is heading in the right direction. It takes looking to the Lord and following His plan of what a marriage looks like to make it work.
Unfortunately, the adversary is a real force fighting against marriages. Elder David A. Bednar (2006) stated, "...Satan does not have a body, he cannot marry, and he will not have a family. And he persistently strives to confuse the divinely appointed purposes of gender, marriage, and family."
He goes on to state, "Given what we know about our enemy's intent, each of us should be especially vigilant in seeking personal inspiration as to how we can protect and safeguard our own marriages-- and how we can learn and teach correct principles in the home and in our Church assignments about the eternal significance of gender and of the role of marriage in the Father's plan" (Bednar, 2006).
As we understand the forces against us, we can prepare ourselves to combat the adversary and protect our marriages. We can do that by understanding what a marriage is in the sight of God. It is not just a contract that we can easily walk away from, but a covenant that we should do everything in our power to protect. We should to try earnestly to keep our covenants and try looking at things from an eternal perspective, especially during our trials. Elder Hafen (1996) gives us this advice on how we can do that, "Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent" (para. 2).
I know the Lord will bless our marriages as we each strive to give 100 percent. We can do that by turning to our spouse for love and support and turning to the Lord to guide us through.
References:
Bednar, David A. (2006, June). Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan. Retrieved January 30, 2019, from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/06/marriage-is-essential-to-his-eternal-plan?lang=eng
Benson, Ezra Taft. (1986, April). First Presidency Message: What I Hope You Would Teach Your Children about the Temple. Retrieved January 30, 2019, from https://www.lds.org/liahona/1986/04/what-i-hope-you-would-teach-your-children-about-the-temple?lang=eng
Hafen, Bruce C. (1996, November). Covenant Marriage. Retrieved January 30, 2019, from
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